Combating Depression Naturally

The summer after Adam started treatment for leukemia, when he was two years old, and Kate barely one, I started having terrible dreams. Every single night, I'd wake up terrified after dreaming of the kids dying in horrible ways. One night we'd all be walking through an ice cave, having to make our way across a slick wooden bridge, and one of them would slip and fall into a crevasse. The next night we'd be boating on a lake, one of them would lean over to look at something, fall into the water, and get trapped and drown under the boat. This happened every night. My days were already filled with real-life terror; I didn't need my nights to be filled with it too, though I understood my brain was processing our new reality of hospitals and chemotherapy. Eventually I saw a doctor, and she sent me to a psychiatrist, who diagnosed me with depression. This started me on drug therapy which was part of my life for many years. It's easy to say, "Of course you were depressed! look at what was going on in your life!" but it was really more than that. Looking back, it was easy to see that I had been suffering with depression since I was in my late teens; it just hadn't come to light until the whole leukemia mess began.

Clematis in our garden

The medicine helped a lot, and I spent many years trying different therapies along with a few different medications. I figured I would be taking medicine every day for the rest of my life.

Then about five years ago, I was at a dinner with a group of moms that I had known for a while - our children had gone to preschool together. (We still get together every few months.) Somehow the topic of medication came up, and it turned out that every single one of us was on one anti-depressant or another. This struck me as strange. I started discreetly asking around, and it became clear that most of the women I knew were in treatment for depression or anxiety, which was astounding to me.

Dichelostemma capitatum (common name, Blue Dicks), in Briones

Now, before I go further into this subject, I want to make it clear that I think medication can be a very good thing. I have two kids whose lives have been either quite literally saved, or have become much better, with medication. Kate takes an anti-depressant for her anxiety and depression and it has improved her life immensely. I would never say that medication has no place in the treatment of mental disorders. I'm not a doctor, after all. However, for me, something about those informal statistics that I had collected made me very suspicious of the overuse of depression diagnoses and treatments. And I decided to do a little experiment.

a California poppy in our garden

I decided to go off my medication. 

I did this without telling my doctor, which was idiotic. The side effects of withdrawal were not pleasant; I was dizzy every day for nearly a year, despite having tapered down the medicine very gradually before stopping it altogether. However I was clever about three things that I decided to take action on at the same time: Eat a diet high in whole, nutrient-dense foods, without worrying about calorie counting (something I have done all my life, with varying success); exercise as often as possible, in the great outdoors rather than in a gym; and try to get a decent amount of sunshine every day. I had read that these three things are natural anti-depressants, and I figured that adding them might just work.

Cattle grazing in Briones amongst native and exotic grasses, and native buttercups

Again, let me stress that I am not a doctor and I am not suggesting that anyone else just go off medication. BUT: For me, it totally worked. I haven't taken any anti-depressants for five years. 

It's not always perfect. It can be tricky in winter; if it's very rainy, or very dark and cold, I do struggle a bit. Spring has become my new favorite season because I know the sun will be abundant and that automatically helps me feel good. And when I do count calories, as I am doing now, I have to be very careful to get as much nutrient-dense food in my diet as possible; if I eat too much junk, I start to feel very bad indeed. And if I slack off, and don't get outside in some way every day, I really notice my mood slipping. So I have to treat these three things just like I treated my medication, as a daily dose. I have to be somewhat religious about them.

About a third of our big, beautiful tomato starts

But as long as I keep up with those things, it really does work. I realized yesterday that I am in a very good place at the moment. I'm in school, studying subjects that interest me, rather than working in a job that is emotionally draining; I'm getting outdoors every day, either in the garden or in the open spaces, and getting plenty of physical exercise; my diet is very dialed in, and Tom and I have both shed quite a few pounds recently; and all of this combines to make me a much happier person. I'm busy, yes, and managing everything can be difficult, but I'm enjoying myself too. And that is such a good thing.

An artichoke has appeared in one of our plants, hooray!

I say all this just to encourage anyone who has a history of anxiety or depression, or struggles with health problems of any kind, that this might be a 'prescription' to help you, too. There are times in our lives when we must take medication in order to keep on going. I have friends that will always be on anti-depressants. That's ok, that's good, thank heavens for modern medicine. However, anything can be improved by the addition of nutritious food, daily walking, and some sunshine. It certainly can't hurt, and might really help. It's such a beautiful time to get outdoors here in California, too. The wildflowers are out in full force and the sun doesn't yet have the power to completely sap our energy, as it will in the 100 degree days of high summer. And have you seen the studies about the benefits of digging in the dirt, cultivating a garden? See here, and here, and here for more about that. And here for information on how having your hands in the soil helps your immune system. Google 'the health benefits of gardening' and see how much information you find.

Not to mention that the addition of a market garden right outside your back door can make it a lot easier to eat healthful foods. 

Beautiful California Oaks

So why not get up and go outside right this very minute? :)

The Chicken Dilemma

You may recall that Ginny the chicken has had something wrong with her for a month now. She is walking very funny, limping and hopping, but other than that she is fine. Eating, drinking, laying an occasional egg. After all this time, we had about resigned ourselves to the fact that she would never be quite 'right,' but at least she was managing. 

Then the other chickens, somehow clueless all this time, suddenly got hip to the fact that Ginny was injured, and the torture began. One chicken in particular, Tonks, is very aggressive with Ginny, climbing on top of her and holding her down, then pecking away at her comb, Ginny squawking in terror the whole time. After many days of breaking up the fights, we found ourselves sequestering Ginny more and more often in the hen house with a bowl of food and another of water. She was able to climb down to the run if she wanted, but she didn't often go down, and so she was mostly looking at four walls all day. That's not good for any creature. And then when she'd go down, Tonks would be ever more aggressive, until one day we found Ginny stuck beneath the shelf on which we keep the large food and water feeders. She apparently had dug herself a hole under there to get away from Tonks, and then got wedged in there and couldn't get out. I managed it, but she lost a few feathers in the process. I started to think that we'd have to cull Ginny, because her life was miserable. 

Parts of Ginny's comb have been repeatedly pecked and are shortened and bloody.

Then yesterday I had an idea. What if I let Ginny, and only Ginny, free-range? She would be free from the bullying, and be able to get more exercise, and one chicken can't do a whole lot of damage to our garden. So, with a deep breath, I let her out. She was ecstatic; scratching around in the bark all day finding sow bugs and earwigs and worms. She pecked a little at the kale, but not a lot. And she also found the compost pile and went to work over there. When I picked her up and put her in the hen house for the night, she settled down in a nesting box with what I could swear were contended coos. For some reason, at night, no one picks on her. Some unwritten chicken rule about bedtimes I guess.

This morning we let her out again, but today she acted differently. She stayed very near to the coop all day, clearly wanting to be with her mates. When I let her back in with the others for a moment, Tonks came charging out directly to harass her. I pulled Ginny out into the yard again, and made her a nice nesting box in the shade. She has her own food and water, and she's happy pecking about in the mulch. It might take her some time to get used to being outside, but in the long run, everyone will be happier. It just requires me putting her in the hen house each night and taking her out again each morning. 

Tom's home this week on his spring break, and we had a good time watching Ginny scratching and pecking for bugs. It just looks right; like a chicken is supposed to look. And I said out loud, "this is a slippery slope...." I've always wanted the chickens to free-range. I haven't let them because I was afraid they'd eat everything in my garden. With full-grown, mature plants, it's not such a big deal - they can stand a little thinning and tearing. But seedlings or seeds - that's another story. And so now I have to start thinking about how I can protect each bed at certain times of the year, if I want to have all the chickens out. And it also will attract Mr. Coyote, for sure. So I have to think about this seriously before I go any further. 

Meanwhile, it's delightful having one chicken out in the garden, doing the stuff a chicken likes to do.

Weekly Walkthrough: The Bees Make a Break for It

What a week this has been, as it pertains to beekeeping. The video below jumps around in time, so make sure to note the days and times. It's a bit longer than normal, because I included the entire seven minutes it took the bees to swarm from my hive to my pepper tree. Fast forward a little if you're getting bored with that. Also, I recommend you watch it on your desktop computer, at full screen, to get the full effect.  Here's to a calmer week ahead!

Soil Testing

Two weeks ago, I brought a sample of my native soil in to my basic landscape horticulture class; as part of the curriculum, we were going to test the composition of our soils (for sand, silt, and clay), and I decided that it would be more interesting to bring in something native rather than the material in our raised beds. And it WAS interesting. I brought in a clump from where I recently dug to plant Lepichinia hastata (or Mexican Pitcher Sage); it was the size of a softball and it was basically like a rock. I had to pulverize it (and it took the flat top of a pickaxe to do that) and screen it and then shake it in a sort of soapy solution for ten minutes; then let it sit for a week. After a few minutes, the sand in the soil will settle to the bottom (I had no sand). Then the silty stuff will settle after about half an hour (I had no silt). Then after a week the clay is supposed to settle and you'll have a layer of water on top. Well, I followed the instructions to a 'T' and after a week there was no water. Just a thick, blackish, smelly sludge - entirely clay. My teacher took one look and said, "Did you know what the soil was like before you bought the place?" Um, no. Clearly. Which is why all our veg is in raised beds, and why we sheet mulched the entire square footage, and why I add organic matter constantly. And why I try to plant perennials that will tolerate the native soil. And why those rock-like clumps that I dig up get recycled into our compost bin for improvement.

our apple tree, here when we moved in 13 years ago and still going strong

Then I got it in to my head that I should test the amended soil in our raised beds for pH, Nitrogen, Phosphorus, and Potassium. Our raised beds were initially filled with a vegetable blend from American Soil, and have been amended every year with a layer of compost, sometimes made here and sometimes brought in, sometimes some horse manure, sometimes cover crops, etc. My understanding is that if you continue to add organic matter, the pH and nutrients will take care of things themselves. But the more I study about the needs of annual plants (which is what most of our vegetables are), the more I realize that they need optimal amounts of nutrients to really thrive. It's why I started adding Azomite, or rock dust, to my raised beds - to increase mineralization. The plants can't access those, but the various creatures and fungi in the soil can, and that eventually makes it's way into the soil 'mix.'

Our quince tree, another plant that was here when we arrived

I bought a kit from Amazon - I wanted something simple to start with, instead of a real science kit (which I will probably invest in, in the future) - and this one seemed to have everything I needed, including clear instructions. Your local county extension should be able to give you a very good test, but our local office does not do soil testing and I'd have to send it away somewhere, which meant waiting several weeks for the results. And of course I wanted to figure it all out NOW.

I decided to take a sample from one bed in the North Garden; all our beds have been similarly amended, so I figured one sample would be enough to determine the health of all. This bed is currently housing some pak choi and tatsoi, but had paste tomatoes in it last summer. I dug down the recommended four inches and took a cup or two of the soil. Some I used right away for the pH test, which was a super fast procedure. Here is that result:

To me, that looks like a perfectly neutral pH, which was a surprise to me. I expected it to be slightly acidic, since I add so much organic matter (which tends to keep the soil slightly acidic). Most veg do prefer soil on the acidic side. (NOT spinach!) So that led me down a rabbit hole of asking some experts what they recommend - should I add a little sulfur to the beds to acidify? I consulted my LH teacher, a British market gardener whom I admire, and a friend who is a Master Gardener. None of them thought the neutral pH of my soil was anything to worry about. Plus, I'm going to be adding more compost any week now, which should take care of it, anyway. So that was good news.

Next, I tested the NPK of the same soil, which was an overnight procedure. First you make a soil solution, just like we did in class (except no soap), and right away I started to see separation of sand and silt, but zero clay! Interesting. After I let the soil settle for 24 hours, I did the NPK test. Here are the results:

Again, surprising to me. Our beds are extremely deficient in nitrogen, so I'm going to have to do something about that right away. And we have too much phosphorus and potassium. The potassium is probably a result of our watering situation - since our beds dry out so very quickly in our hot, dry weather, they go through a sort of arid phase, which brings salts to the surface. This could be one explanation of our blossom end rot every year in the tomatoes. So I need to figure out a better way to mulch the raised beds. Clearly the straw I put around the tomatoes is not doing the trick - it's just not thick enough, or not dense enough, I'm not sure. So I'm working on finding an alternative. A low-growing cover crop would solve both the mulch problem and the nitrogen problem, but the bad side of that is that the area beneath the tomatoes would be crowded, which isn't good for them - they like a lot of air and light. So I'll continue to think about that. Meanwhile I need to add blood meal or fish meal to the beds to correct the nitrogen problem, before I do my late spring planting. 

Calendula officinalis 'Flashback'

This was an interesting project, and one I have eschewed all these years because I thought it would be too hard a process, plus I also thought my soil was perfect in the raised beds since I've basically created it from scratch. I was wrong on both counts, and I'm glad I know more about the makeup of my soil and how to correct it, so that we can have a banner crop of tomatoes this summer.

PS: I know many of you would like to know if the bees tried to swarm again yesterday. I was gone until about 1:45; when I arrived home, I went immediately to look at them, and the bees looked totally normal. I saw pollen going in the hive, so they were just going about their business as usual. The weather was unsettled, though. Today it is sunny, so if they are going to make a break for it, today's the day. But the warmer weather also means I can get into the hive this afternoon and see what's going on. So I'll report on all of that tomorrow, that is if there is anything interesting to share. Meanwhile I wanted to comment that I don't mind so much if the bees swarm. It's something bees do, and maybe we'll have an even better new queen, and we are not in it for the honey or the production, so we don't have to worry about losing some bees. What I would very much like to do is catch them if they do swarm and put them to use for someone else. So I'll be watching carefully today.

My Bees Swarm. BUT - that's not the end of the story.

This might be the strangest bee day yet. I didn't think to video early on, but about 1 pm, I was sitting doing homework when I decided to go get the mail. Then I heard them.

Can you see them? A brown spot up high in the pepper tree? It's way up there. If we had a second story, it would be about level with a roof. 

Then - well - after a bit - I started filming. Here you go. Nothing fancy, just me gobsmacked wondering what the hell is going on.